It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas
by polka-dotted-pengiuns
Summary: Chapter 3 up. 'Watched Filch's face turn mighty red... The Marauders get caught whilst 'Decking the Halls with Globs of Mud' and they, along with their small army of miscreants, sing their annual carol from the confines of detention. Poor McGonagall...
1. Harry James Potter

**Harry James Potter**

**(Frosty the Snowman style)**

Harry James Potter, was a jolly happy soul  
With a mom and a dad and a godfather  
And a werewolf as his friends

Then came Voldemort on that very fateful day  
He came in and killed Harry's mom and dad  
Sending Sirius away

Sirius was innocent  
It was the Rat who did the crime  
Poor Remus was left all alone  
As Sirius did his time

Oooohhhh

Harry James Potter, was as miserable as could be  
He had to clean and work the long day away  
Whilst living in a cupboard

Along comes a letter, which Dursley kept from him  
Then comes Hagrid from Dumbledore  
And off to Hogwarts Harry goes

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Harry go!

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Off to battle evil he goes!

Harry James Potter, knew that he was quite abnormal  
But he wanted to play and dance and date  
Just like every average teen

But the evil Lord Voldemort, made this very hard  
For he attacked poor Harry every year  
Making the boy extreemly paranoid

Now every time Harry hears a noise  
He jumps a mile high  
He pulls his wand and turns around  
And shouts "You need to DIE"

Harry James Potter, is a very busy soul  
He goes here and there, looking every where  
To eradicate old Voldy

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Harry fight!

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Will he win? He might!

(Not)

**Harry Potter's Christmas List**

**By Harry Potter:**

**1. A new broom (Mine's getting up there in years)**

**2. To somehow manage to pass my N.E.W.T's (You're my best friends Hermione….)**

**3. World Peace (Hey, it could happen)**

**4. Ginny to stop hating me (Peace on earth, good will to men? Specifically me and my unmentionable which you seem to like to kick?)**

**5. Voldemort to trip over his shoelace and fall off a cliff, then splatter in an unsightly manner on the rocks below (Mmmm, happy thoughts.)**

**6. Food (Me like candy)**

**5. To finally beat Ron at wizards chess (It will happen some day, I know it will…)**

A/N: Well, this originally started out as a Harry bashing fic (I really hate Harry) but I thought telling his life tale could be vaguely amusing. The Christmas list was inspired by Mulch Diggums' Artemis Fowl fic, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Next up, Draco Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

Christmas cookies to all who review, shaped like the character of your choice so you may bite their heads off : )

Merry Christmas to all!!!

PS. Do people sing Frosty anywhere other than the US?


	2. Draco Got Run Over By Something

**Draco Gets Hit By an Unidentified Flying Object**

**(To the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer)**

**Disclaimer- I used lines from many carols, including but not limited to, Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer; I wrote neither. Story was inspired by Mulch Diggum's A Partridge in a Pear Tree. **

A group of yuletide carolers walk solemnly to a place roughly near the Hog's Head bar in Hogsmead with folders in their hand. One stops the group with a shaking hand and begins the tradition by speaking a few words on behalf of the others for their fallen comrade. The carolers finish up their yuletide prayer with a chorused amen, and begin to open their folders. There is a rustling of pages in the otherwise silent night.

They reach the right page and look up at the student who stopped them. The conductor dries his eyes, lifts his hands, and begins to direct his fellows in merry measure. Together they begin, their voices filling the cold desolate unbroken night.

Draco got run over by something  
Walking home from Hogsmead Christmas Eve  
We're not quite sure exactly what it was  
But whatever it was, it sure made him bleed

He'd been drinking too much Fire Whiskey  
And the bartender told him not to go  
But the little genius left the pub  
And stumbled out the door into the snow

When we found him in the blizzard  
He was lying in the snow, those bruises mean  
They were covering him all over  
In shades of which I'd never ever seen

Draco got run over by something  
Walking home from Hogsmead Christmas Eve  
We're not quite sure exactly what it was  
But whatever it was, it sure made him bleed

Now we were all so proud of Pansy  
She'd been taking it so well  
See her dancing all 'round the school  
She was happy, but poor Draco was beginning to smell

Draco got run over by something  
Walking home from Hogsmead Christmas Eve  
We're not quite sure exactly what it was  
But whatever it was, it sure made him bleed

Now his wand is on the table  
And his Hogwarts uniform  
And a blue and black candle  
That would have just matched the colors of his face

We've warned all of the villagers  
Better watch out for yourselves!  
We couldn't find out what it was  
But we've called all of the ministry's Aurors

Draco got run over by a hippogriff  
Walking home from Hogsmead Christmas Eve  
At least that's what the all the Aurors told us  
As for me, I merely think he sneezed.

The carolers pack up their items, still wiping tears of laughter from their eyes. Three shadows following them as their silhouettes shrink into the horizon, only their foot prints in the newly fallen snow to indicate that anyone had been there. A sign was visible where they had earlier stood.

_**Beware of Flying Hippogriffs,**_

_**For Santa Clause Comes Tonight.**_

**Draco Malfoy's Christmas List**

**1. Father to file a lawsuit (I'd do it myself, but painkillers make me loopy)**

**2. Hippogriffs to become extinct (The reason for my many painkillers)**

**3. Harry to die (I love you Santa…)**

**4. Slytherin win the Quidditch cup (Deflate Potter's ego, it would)**

**5. A new mirror for the sixth year boys bathroom, Goyle broke ours (Half witted idiot.)**

A/N: I'm sorry, but I really enjoyed this. It was at first just the carol, but I couldn't help myself, and you can probably tell I'm not a huge Draco fan either. Please review, I still don't know if the sing Frosty anywhere but the good 'old US of A.

Anyone who reviews will get a present wrapped in paper with the character of your choice's face plastered all over it. : )


	3. Deck the Halls With Globs of Mud

**Deck the Halls with Globs of Mud**

**(To the tune of Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly)**

**Italics are the words that are sung to replace the Fa la la la's**

The sun just barely manages to peek through the window as it begins to rise, its weak early morning rays cast an eerie glow on a large group of students gathered in a classroom in the wee hours of the morning. They sit on desks and stand around the space wherever they can; it is filled to capacity, probably more. Three, with similar poses that demanded respect, stand in the front of the room. They converse quietly to each other for a moment before they seem to come to a conclusion. One nods and the other smirks, the third just rolls his eyes. They all nod to a blonde boy directing the others in the back of the large, tired, yet energetic crowd that has been there all night. They lift their hands in unison, and with great flourish, conduct the fist measure of the yearly carol.

A teacher in the office just off of the classroom where our practitioners are gathered allows her head to fall on her desk with a clearly audible thump.

The carolers grin and begin their annual yuletide tale, loud enough to be heard throughout the castle.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

We decked the halls with globs of mud

_Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha_

Painted it thickly, plastered it good

_Smear smear smear smear, smear it well_

Watched Filch's face turn mighty red

_Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty, colors_

You could fry an egg on his head

_Sizzle sizzle sizzle, pop pop sizzle_

---------------

We try to find a place that needs more

_Look look look look, and search some more_

He can't hurts us thanks to Dumbledore

_We really really really love that man_

We put some more chunks here and there

_Finishing finishing finishing touches_

Maybe he'll loose the rest of his hair

_Bald bald bald bald bald, bald bald bald bald_

---------------------

Oh crap, I hear footsteps

_Run run run, run run, run far far away_

Quick we need to hide the evidence

_Throw throw throw throw throw, throw it out the window_

Here comes Filch followed by McGonagall

_Hide hide hide, hide hide hide, don't let her see_

We pile and cram into girl's bathroom

_Ooooh, what's this here pretty machine?_

---------------------------

Now we sing this song from detention

_La la la la la, la la la la  
_

We're trying not to catch the teacher's attention

_Hush hush hush hush, hush be quiet_

We just thought we'd give you this fair warning

_Take it, take it, take it, please_

Make sure to kick Mrs. Norris this morning

_Stupid spy, stupid cat, got us caught_

---------------------

Well, we'll do it again like it or not

_He he he he he, he he he he_

We don't care if we get caught

_We we we we we, we don't care  
_

'Cause nothing's better, nothing in the world

_nothing nothing nothing ever_

Then seeing Filch try to stop the tears he poured.

_Why why why, it's just a floor!_

----------------------

The teacher moans from the office and one of the boys in the group, of sandy hair, a semi-weary expression, and surprisingly good hearing, nods to the other two in the front. One, the taller of the two, gets the message and enters the woman's office.

He finds her with her head resting face down on her desk, hands placed firmly over her ears.

"Why Professor, if we didn't know better, we'd say you weren't enjoying our little tale!" The boy spoke as if this could not possibly be true.

The woman, to whom the boy referred to as Professor, gives him a weary stare.

"Sirius, I've heard it sung at least eight times a year, and it's your sixth year, it is inevitable that one should tire of it."

The boy gives her an affronted look and turns to leave the office, of which the woman was seriously considering soundproofing. He enters the classroom once more where his fellows are gathered.

"Is she annoyed?" the other raven haired boy asks.

The first, called Sirius, merely grins. "Time for round two my singing minions! Here we go!"

The shrieks of Argus Filch resounded around the castle, only to be drowned out by the next round of joyful chorus.

**Argus Filch's Christmas List**

**1. A ban on all dirt in Hogwarts (Nasty stuff, mucking up my floors…)**

**2. A ban on all mud in Hogwarts (See above)**

**3. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew to stay in bed for once (I think McGonagall and I share a Christmas wish)**

**4. The old punishments allowed again (Me and Nigellus are starting a petition)**

**5. Students banned from Hogwarts (It'd keep the place much cleaner. Less work for me.)**

--------------------

A/N: Well, apparently I'm taking requests! Just drop an idea and I'll try to write it. Thank you Mulch Diggums for the idea of Filch torturing and for letting me use the Christmas list idea. Go read her stories, she's on our favorite authors list, and you can read my other stories too…..

I have a massive Xylophone/Vibraphone/Bells part I need to work on for honor band. I have a drum lesson I haven't practiced all week for, Algebra, and a huge WWI report to work on. Feel grateful for my short attention work span and love of Sirius.

Reviewers will receive the character of their choice to be a slave for a day as a Christmas Present

And I give up; nobody will tell me about the frosty song. :' (


End file.
